✨I Choose Peace: A story of growth, grief, & God's Guidance✨

There are moments in life that shake you — not because of who was involved, but because of what was revealed. Yesterday was one of those moments for me.

My husband is grieving the loss of his father. Six days. Six days of shock, stress, fear, and trying to figure out what our future looks like. Six days of watching the man I love carry a weight no one prepared him for.

And in the middle of all that, something was suggested to me that stopped me in my tracks.

I was told that the “right” way to respond to my husband’s stress was with yelling… gashing of teeth… slamming fists… chaos… intimidation… flesh-driven behavior.

But let me tell you something:

That is not of God. That is not who I am anymore. That is not how I treat my husband. That is not how I protect my home.

I love my peace. My husband deserves peace — especially right now. The last thing he needs is a wife acting wild, destructive, or disrespectful while he’s grieving his father and trying to hold our life together.

What was suggested to me didn’t feel like advice. It felt like an invitation to destroy everything God has restored. To start a fight. To tear down my marriage. To go back to the old me.

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I’m not speaking death over my home. I’m speaking LIFE.

God, You’re leading us through this. I trust You. You provide for my family — nobody else. Surround us with people who speak life, not chaos.

I want to build my marriage, not bury it.

The Old Me vs. The New Me

The old me? She was destructive. She was loud. She was angry. She was tormented. She was possessed by demons — not one, but many. She yelled. She slammed her hands. She pulled her hair out.

He screams “I want a divorce!”

She talked to other men. She fell into sin.

That woman is dead.

This is the NEW me.

I am a child of God. I am a daughter of the King. I am set apart. I am made new. I love Jesus, and I am never looking back.

If I distance myself from certain people, it’s not out of anger — it’s because I protect my peace, my heart, and my soul. I don’t entertain chaos. I don’t feed old demons that God delivered me from.

Understanding My Husband’s Heart

My husband is also a changed man. He’s new in his walk with the Lord. He’s grieving. He’s stressed. He’s human.

What happened yesterday wasn’t his spirit — it was his emotions. He felt attacked. He felt like a failure. He felt scared about our future. He felt the weight of everything hitting at once.

And I’m blessed to be the woman who stands beside him, lifts him up, reminds him he is seen, he is heard, and God is with him.

Once he calms down, he always comes back, apologizes, and talks things out. We have family conversations. We grow. We heal. We move forward.

I don’t owe the world every detail of what happens in my home. I don’t owe social media my personal business. But I do owe God my testimony.

And my testimony is this:

I CHOOSE PEACE. I CHOOSE LIFE. I CHOOSE JESUS. I CHOOSE MY MARRIAGE. I CHOOSE TO BE THE WOMAN GOD MADE ME TO BE.

Scriptures That Anchor My Heart

Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.

James 1:19 Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Galatians 5:22–23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

I will not apologize for standing up for God & my husband. I refuse & rebuke those actions; I will not turn back to sin or on what God has done for me & my family. Just because of his tone with our kids. He had every reason to be stressed out. He wasn't mad, he wasn't abusive, he just thought staying the night somewhere isn't the time right now. We need to be together I shouldn't have to explain I saw no wrong. He was just a man that needed love not chaos. I don't care if this hit different cause your comment also hit different. It affected me all night long, it hurt me enough to blog about it. 😳 so I could give it to God. But if God tells me to cut off & cut ties... I will. It's for my peace. It's not you personally what I saw was the enemy I will always love you... But I will love you from a far if I have too. & that hurts. Creating the picture for the blog was very uncomfortable thats what I saw from the person. Yeah I'm good I have peace in my marriage I don't want that for my husband. It's not just men that get like this with there wife... WE woman do it to our husbands.

Love always

Ashley Maire 👽💞🙏🏻